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This week we pick up where we left off a couple of weeks ago on episode 032. In part 2 of my conversation with “K” we discuss some of the things that got us into over $27,000 in debt and what were those purchases that we really enjoyed.
Make sure you check out Part 1 first.
Click here to view one of my earlier blog posts on how debt affected our lives
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Chris: [00:00:00] For us it’s probably one of the few times we’ve ever even talked about this together. We didn’t really talk about it then. I don’t really think we’ve talked about it since. So I mean how did you feel during this time so like ever asked.
K: [00:00:13] I felt stressed. But I don’t think it was anywhere near as bad stresses you were. I felt like for me I’m not really, your focus is finance work and just your background. So for me it wasn’t really on my mind as much as it should have been. But I definitely felt the pressure from you. And the reality of the seriousness of the situation really started to sink in of this is going to take a long time to get rid of this is going to take work and effort to make it go down.
Chris: [00:00:52] Yeah true it was. I think seeing that number and then realizing how much we could actually pay towards it if we really hit me and I was like this is gonna take forever. I think at the time we were maybe paying like around seven to eight hundred dollars a month towards the debt and rent was only I think eight hundred dollars so we were paying just as much towards debt as we were paying towards rent. And in my mind I was like I would love to live in a bigger place in a different area. But I was like this debt is eating up so much of the money. You know we could afford somewhere twice as nice or twice as expensive at least at least as we’re reliving but not with this amount of debt that we have. So I know that was it was rough and it was interesting to hear your take on it. I didn’t know too much about it. You know what you thought about it and I think that’s one of the things I wish we would have done more is talk and get communicated about it because I think I held on to a lot of stress and pain and frustration. And I know it made me resentful at the time because when you don’t talk it feels like you’re dealing with it alone. And I wish I would’ve brought it up to you before. I think we’ve talked about at least that part since then but if you don’t talk about it you’ve got to just live in your own head and deal with all the negative thoughts you have right.
K: [00:02:18] Yeah I definitely would say that we didn’t communicate and that’s something that I feel we’ve been working on in the recent past. But definitely while we were going through and really trying to tighten up the way we spent we we weren’t really communicating all that well and I think being focused on it. I know now that it did make you very resentful and you felt like you were alone. And I I felt bad actually because I felt like I could have been doing a lot more and not be so reckless and contribute more.
Chris: [00:02:56] And I think that was the hard part too is when you’re when we’re spending we’re still we’re still spending that was a problem. We’re still like using credit cards and spending and then trying to pay down the same time is not a very effective strategy. And so I know and not just you but you know myself as well. You want to still enjoy life if you like. I still want to go out and eat at this restaurant and I still want to buy this or go on this trip or do whatever. Even though we couldn’t afford it because we clearly didn’t have the cash but it’s kind of hard to know. You think you’re like you’re depriving yourself and it’s kind of hard to do that. I don’t know how you felt about that.
K: [00:03:35] It is difficult because this is difficult especially when you’re not really seeing that example of saving or only spending money that you do have and it’s easier to be a little more reckless and not so cautious of an intentional in spending your money like that.
Chris: [00:03:57] Yeah no. I know for my family you know I appreciate them I love them but money wasn’t one of the things that we talked about. I think that’s one of my primary reasons for going into finance when I got in the school was I took a class as an intro to finance and I was like I don’t know any of the stuff I never heard or learned any of these things. And it was really interesting and fascinating to learn about it. I think that was for me. What would push me towards it because I didn’t learn any of that at home. Everything I know I had to learn you know on my own. And so I didn’t learn the basics of finance I didn’t learn how to talk about it and how to manage it with another person. And you know what you shouldn’t be doing. You know I do the book stuff but I didn’t know the real life applicable stuff.
K: [00:04:42] Right. And that’s always much more difficult. The theory versus reality.
Chris: [00:04:49] And we were talking you’re saying something similar about you and your family about talking about money and things like that.
K: [00:04:55] Yeah. No I feel that some things were just very difficult to talk about or maybe my family just didn’t think it was appropriate for kids you know to be involved in. And I think that’s sometimes the route that parents take to protect their children or kind of preserve their innocence or just not so that they’re not so stressed about the reality of the situation and I know my parents did and still do the best they can to help provide for us and and be there and support us. You know the best they can.
Chris: [00:05:32] Yeah. And my family I think a lot of times it was none of my business. That was why I always got when I would ask questions it was none of my business. My parents are from the south at least my dad grew up there but my dad was just born there. But you know they have that mentality of this is a kids place is an adults place. You stay over there and you play than your life stay in your lane and we’ll handle this. So I mean obviously they you know they cared about us. They did the best to take care of us but we didn’t. We didn’t get that conversation.
K: [00:06:03] No. And I feel that some some conversations they’re just difficult to have with your children to be upfront and honest about where you guys are financially. It’s not easy conversation to have.
Chris: [00:06:16] True. It is true because I don’t even I never hang around kids no young kids and my family it’s old when they move around like your family and young kids. I don’t know what to say to them. So I can’t imagine having a money like a personal money conversation and giving them my details so I kind of get where my parents are coming from. It’s like you know it’s already probably uncomfortable and then you’re kind of like well why would I share these intimate details with a kid that is my thought. Yeah. So OK. Well we’re talking about you know there’s all this money that we spent during this spree is living large. It’s not really large a large spree. I was thinking like I have all the money we spent those thousands of dollars. What was the thing that we enjoy the most. That was her favorite thing that you spent because I know it’s not a good time. I mean this is a hard topic to talk about and there’s not very many fond memories I have of being in debt. But the one thing I was trying to think of to kind of put a spin on it to think of something positive during this time was what did I buy that I really enjoyed. And so I’ll go first to give you time to think about it. For me it was I leased an infinity. Why.
Chris: [00:07:32] I don’t know but I bought a car and I was having issues with it and it was like You know I was like this is going to be a limit that’s going to be problems don’t be stuck with this car forever. But I just get that car it would have definitely been paid off by now. But I was like you know what. I got to hold onto this. But one other car what I get I always wanted an infinity and it was like a G 35. I loved that car I was like I love the way it sounds know the way it looked I’m always into speed. I like driving fast. I was like I’m going to get it. I can’t afford it so I wasn’t like you know what I’ll do. It is the first time I’ve ever leased a car and I was like oh the payments only like three hundred and sixty dollars I can afford that. And so I leased it. And I was like a two year lease and it was a lot of fun to drive. But probably like a month into owning it maybe even less than that. I realize that you kind of get over it. And it wasn’t all I thought it was going to be it and I guess give me as much enjoyment as I thought owning this car would be. And so I basically went to the rest of the lease being like I probably should just bought a car. But I guess I enjoy it as well as I can. But it was fun.
Chris: [00:08:40] You know it’s it’s you get this rush of pulling up in a car and people looking at you a certain way. And I think that’s that’s why people buy those cars. Those guys like you get like this. People can look at you differently when you pull up in a nice car. Definitely. I remember you drove it one time to school. Yes. And then you went tell the story of how people reacted when you went to school and then.
K: [00:09:02] They were going crazy. They were like screaming Oh my gosh look at you. Completely treated me differently than they had ever treated me before. And this is you look so good. It’s like it was an accessory. I was so surprised and I was just like it’s like it’s crazy but then even though you know this is just a car it still feels good right.
Chris: [00:09:26] The attention feels good and it’s like you want to hold on to it. But at the same time you you know it’s like this is a lot of money.
K: [00:09:36] Yeah I think that feeling where people treat you better than they were when you were pulling up in a different vehicle is it kind of makes you feel good which is kind of sad it is when we roll up in your Prius now we don’t get treated. No. We definitely don’t.
Chris: [00:09:55] And I know when the lease was up and I think at that point we had already made the decision to do better financially. I turned it in and like I had nothing to show for it. It was kind of like well that’s over time to come back to reality. Well what about you. Is there anything you can think of that you really enjoy that we bought did during that time.
K: [00:10:20] Honestly I don’t think that there’s anything that I can materialistically say that we bought that I can’t even. There’s nothing I really have to show for any of that spending besides the memories of like going places. Like you said eating out going on vacations and trips and things like that. I really enjoyed spending the money on vacation and that good quality time with money that really isn’t out.
Chris: [00:10:52] You know I was just thinking about that because once we paid off the debt and we you know we’re trying to still live financially you know responsible responsibly whatever whatever it is. I know for me when I got so tight on the budget I think our time ever kind of suffered because for us that was our thing to do was to go out and eat. And then there wasn’t really anything that replaced it. And then I know it was kind of a struggle for me to loosen up and spending money to do things because it was after living years of trying to pay off debt. And then you know watching everything you do is kind of hard to turn it back on and say oh let’s go out and do something so I gave which I think that was a lot of fun. I did enjoy what do was any place in particular the lights going or eating or doing just trying new restaurants but I really enjoyed our trips up north and kind of road tripping it up there to San Francisco Bay Area type of thing you know that was nice. That was fun. And I remember too we get those passes to Universal Studios.
K: [00:12:03] Yeah we did do little excursions but at the same time we we found ways to spend quality time together. And then when we focus on paying our debt off we kind of just abruptly stopped all of that. Yeah which I wouldn’t necessarily advise. I would advise maybe finding more creative ways to do something frugally together.
Chris: [00:12:25] True. And I think too it was something that I learned after the fact is that it’s very difficult to try to live a very restricted life and never enjoy anything. And I wish I would have set up maybe like like a small amount to set aside. We could do things together. I think I completely eliminated all of that from the budget. It was just like our money is going to live and eat and then everything else is go into debt basically. Yes. And so I wish I would have maybe put a little more wiggle room in there because we didn’t like we bought anything for a couple of years like very minimal things where everybody. Yeah I think you end up like you get so restricted that you like me like to splurge out of nowhere. Yeah. Because you feel so deprived. So maybe that’s a tip is even if you’re in a very tight situation budget something that you know you don’t have to be thousands of dollars and baby budget you know 20 bucks 40 bucks a month something and do something that you enjoy to kind of keep yourself motivated and functioning.
K: [00:13:29] Right, and happy.
Chris: [00:13:31] And happy, because I know that there is a lot of happiness happening during that time we were super focused on paying down debt.